Some Time Behind Bars

In this household we quite enjoy TV two shows – Dragon’s Den and The Apprentice. I’m not quite sure when we started watching them exactly, but we did.

Do I have an idea for a product that I would like to pitch on Dragon’s Den? Maybe. Do I have the time to design, patent, promote and sell it, on top of running my blog and my home? Absolutely not!

I’m notorious for overcommitting myself so, as much as I would love to get my idea out there (and, I think, it would even make quite a difference for some other disabled people), unfortunately I have to hold back. Unless Kinky With A Twist somehow stops working for me or I manage to find myself a reliable business partner who can take on my creativity, I have to shelf my idea. It’s self-discipline, ahem, shelf-discipline.

Anyway.

“If you had to choose a Dragon to be your investor, who would it be?” Matt asks me. He thinks I’ll go for Peter Jones, or perhaps Sara Davies, or maybe even Touker Suleyman. He’s wrong with all three.

“Deborah Meaden” I reply without skipping a beat, “she’s dog mad, straight-talking and empathic. Sound familiar?”

I planned to get a few other things done after Dragon’s Den, but then I saw the panoramic view of London at the start of The Apprentice and so I sat back down. I do love Lord Alan Sugar.

In this week’s episode of The Apprentice, Team Apex were tasked with creating an immersive experience for their guests at Shrewsbury Prison while Team Affinity were tasked with creating a Victorian Day at Blists Hill in Telford, Shropshire. Whist the caning scene that took place between Team Affinity’s Marnie and Avi certainly got a good giggle in the boardroom, it was Team Apex’s performance at Shrewsbury Prison that really got my attention.

“What, you want to be treated like that?” Matt asks me pointedly as Simba yells at the guests. I shrug.

“I’m not saying no, though much depends on whether or not I’ve got a safeword” I smile.

Many on Twitter spoke of the ‘trauma’ and ‘verbal abuse’ inflicted on Team Apex’s guests.

“Who would want to be treated like that?!” some cried.

Well… uhh, hello, hi.

For a long time, I’ve loved to play rough. Playing rough sets me free from the protected life that I grew up with, pushing my limits allows me to truly know what I am capable of. It allows me to know and experience the depths of me and it’s why I’ve long drooled over Who Dares Wins as well: to get to know my visceral self? Delicious.

Also for a long time, I’ve had a kind of prisoner fantasy – one of being kept in a cell in a dark room, where cooperation and compliance promises my freedom or reward. I’m freed from the stresses and burdens of my everyday existence; I have no control, so I have nothing to try and control. Trusting but not knowing, just simply being. It’s enthralling.

The sole difference between abuse and roleplay, in or out of the bedroom? Consent. That really goes to signify quite how important consent is.

Sex without consent is rape.

BDSM without consent is abuse.

Prisoner roleplay without consent is false imprisonment, and will often soon see the gatekeeper behind bars instead.

Remember, if you’re not sure, just ask. Otherwise the next prison warden who yells at you could be really real.